Are you prepared?

Marc and I found that one of the key reasons why we had a bad experience with our au-pair was that we were not prepared.  But was does being prepared mean. 

1-      The basics:  The au-pair is not an overnight houseguest.  They are staying at your home for a year.  They are taking care of your children.  They will need their own space.  Also, if they are happy where they live and are comfortable, they will be happier and in theory take better care of your kids.

a.       Do you have a nice room for the au-pair with a comfortable bed, possibly a TV with cable or a DVD player.  Space to store their clothes.

b.      How about a private bathroom?  Is the entire family sharing one bathroom?

c.       Reasonable transportation – if you live in an area where it isn’t possible to walk from place to place or take public transportation, are you prepared to let the au-pair use your car on a regular basis?

d.      Reasonable access to education?  Where can the au-pair take classes?

2-      Realistic expectations…

a.       The au-pair is not a maid or housekeeper.  They’re duties are limited to the children.

b.      Their hours are capped at 45 hours per week.

c.       They are not responsible for running your household.

3-      Realistic house rules: Au-pairs are young adults.  They are not your children and they will want a level of freedom and flexibility.  If you expect everyone to be at home in bed by 9:00 every night or expect your house to be kept impeccably neat at all times, you might find it tough to have another person in the house. On the flip side, a house without any rules can pose challenges as well.  We found that we were too laid back about rules in the beginning of our relationship with our au-pair.  We started to feel that au-pair was taking things fro granted such as access to our cars and not taking care of our house in reasonable manner.  When this happened, since we hadn’t established rules in the beginning, we found it difficult to make changes.   Some of the things we felt we needed to think about were:

a.       Disciplining of the children

b.      Use of the car

c.       Use of the phone and internet

d.      Housekeeping

e.       House guests

f.       Curfews

g.      Confidentiality

4-      Some sense of order and routine: as a host family, you will need to articulate (most likely in writing) how your household functions.  Marc and I found that since we had a very established routine with the kids in regards to their weekdays (getting them ready for school, playtime, TV time and bedtime) that it was easy enough for us to get the au-pair to follow along.